I Asked My Daughter

I asked my daughter the other day, as I drove her to school "How do you feel mommy is doing at this?" She looked at me a bit puzzled. I said "Tell me the truth, how is mom doing for you kids at this almost single mom thing? How is my attitude for you kids? Do you feel supported or do I need to improve on that?" Her answer was a surprise! She said "Your doing great mom, your just quiet A LOT, and I miss you talking more." WOW! *I'll remind her of that comment one day btw! ;)

This should have been my first sign of wrapping myself into the cocoon.  I have strived to be a bit more conversational with my kids. It's not easy when you have so much on your mind, and your children are not the people to share or unload those thoughts on. That is why I was unknowingly quite.  Believe there was plenty of 'talk' going on, it was just my inner dialog. ;)

Ive had moments this weekend that my patience was a bit shorter.  Being aware of this, I put myself in time out a couple of times this weekend.  I wanted the kids to continue to laugh and act up, even though I found myself in a sole searching mode. So I would come to my room, and I know they felt me doing this. As we sat down for scripture study tonight, I felt a need to express my apologies to the kids if they felt mommy was not herself. I assured them of my love for them, and that even mommies need time out sometimes. Then I said "Lets do something new for us. Lets make a prayer list for our family. Lets each share something we need help with, and help each other pray this week for those needs to be met.  My youngest popped up and said "I want a new Lego set!" I giggled and told him were talking about ways we need Heavenly Fathers blessings in our lives. (So cute though!)  As we each shared something we needed help with, it hit me I needed to be sure to include daddy in our list. Daddy will always be a part of our lives, even if he is living in another state now. We can always include him in our prayers no matter the circumstances or trials.

Im really glad we did this!  It ended up being a good exercise and teaching moment for the kids and myself included. We added what we felt daddy would want on his list, and even though at first a couple of them resisted the idea. In the end we witnessed a softening of hearts.  A new level of tenderness, unity and love in our home.....

Beautiful Heartbreak