Last night was one of those sleepless nights. Tossing and turning never settling into a deep state of sleep. From about 4:45am it turned into gut wrenching almost nightmares I continued to deal with. My mind was racing with everything I have ahead of me to accomplish, yet keeping the outside of me calm for my children. So many things to do, and with so little time, yet having to do it so carefully, takes strategy and craft Ive never done before in my life. "Oh Heavenly Father, please help me know the paths to take, the steps to make as if like stepping stones in front of my feet" I pleaded with Him over and over... "Please calm my heart among the storms, and help me be strong for my children." You see...they deserve to not live in this cycle any longer either. There will be sacrifices I don't' know if one is ever really wanting to make, but if we don't sacrifice, there will never be change, and we will forever live in this state of existence.
Mostly I fear today for my children. What will he become? I know what he is capable of becoming...so that is what gives me reason to plead for tender mercy on my children! "PLEASE LORD PROTECT MY BABIES!!!!!"
Today is one of those REALLY HARD days!!! I know all I can do is rely on my Heavenly Father to help my feet land on the right paths, and bless us for the right people to come into our lives. I am walking by pure and raw faith on this path. As many answers as I DON'T have, I know our loving Heavenly Father will bring those answers at the right time, and through the right avenues.
Today....as is every day...is a day with a constant prayer in my heart.....
Beautiful Heartbreak
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